Chapter 1: I Got Dumped! (Yukiya’s Point of View)
On the way home from high school.
I decided to tell Kanae, my childhood friend, how I’d felt for years.
You know, a love confession.
“H-hey, um… Kanae…”
“Hm? What is it?”
When I suddenly spoke up, Kanae gave me a soft, gentle smile in response.
For a moment, I almost let a spaced-out voice slip out with something like, “She’s cute,” but I stopped myself at the last second and corrected course.
“Y-you know, we’ve been together for a pretty long time now, haven’t we?”
“Yeah. I’ve been with you since kindergarten, Yuki-kun. We’re even at the same high school, and at this rate, we might end up at the same university too.”
Kanae answered leisurely, wearing a smile that looked almost melted.
It was a really soothing reaction, but the way she said it like it was all just a coincidence stung a little.
The only reason we’re at the same high school is because I worked my ass off, dumb as I am, to match Kanae’s school choice…
And even though I knew it was unfair since Kanae had no idea, I still felt like pouting like a kid.
Ah, no good. I’m already pathetic before I’ve even confessed…
For a moment, I wussed out and thought about calling off the confession entirely, but if I let today pass, I didn’t know when we’d get to walk home together again.
So show some guts, me.
“Uh… so, um… you know…”
But the moment I tried to put it into words, my mind completely stopped working. My thoughts were wiped pure white, and only the heat in my face felt strangely vivid.
Kanae tilted her head slightly at me, going, “Hm?”
Hurry up. I have to say it already…
“I-I mean… from now on too… I wanna be with you, Kanae, like…”
At this point, even dense Kanae might’ve realized what was going on.
I couldn’t look at her face. I shut my eyes, lowered my head, and desperately forced the words out.
“I-I… I like you, Kanae… I really do…!”
My voice was shaking, and I was stuttering all over the place. It was uncool beyond belief.
But at least for the last part, I wanted to say it clearly.
“P-please… go out with me!”
I lowered my head even further as I begged her.
“Ah…”
From above my head, I felt Kanae catch her breath. That faint sound she let out could’ve been her trying to say something, or maybe she was just exhaling.
Then a moment of silence fell, and honestly, it didn’t feel like I was alive at all…
Eventually, Kanae opened her mouth.
“Um… I-I’m… surprised…”
From how flustered Kanae was, I knew my confession had been completely unexpected.
Personally, I thought I’d been treating Kanae as someone special in a pretty obvious way. Whenever she cut her hair or dressed up even a little, I made sure to notice right away and compliment her. I splurged on her birthday and Christmas presents, and on White Day, returning triple was the rule. Whenever she had trouble with something, I helped her, worried about her, and did my best to fix it.
I worked hard at studying, club activities, and fashion so Kanae would like me. I was a permanent failing grade student back in middle school, but that changed, and in some subjects, I even got good enough to teach Kanae. I kept playing soccer because she’d once said it was cool when we were little, and in high school, I earned a regular spot on the team. I even adjusted my clothes and hairstyle to match her tastes.
Even so, realizing that my years of trying to appeal to her hadn’t reached her at all hit me with a shock that was anything but small.
No, all of that was just me acting on my own, and it’s not like Kanae was obligated to notice any of it…
Still, an overwhelming sense of frustration and regret pressed down on my back.
And then, with Kanae’s next words, the final verdict on everything so far was delivered.
“Um… I-I’m sorry…”
She told me that painfully, like it was hard for her to say.
“I’ve, um… always… had someone I like…”
Hearing that, I almost let out a sigh, thinking, yeah, figures…
I had a pretty good idea who Kanae meant by her “someone I’ve always liked.”
Ironically, he was also Kanae’s childhood friend, just like me, but unlike me, he was the guy Kanae had feelings for…
“I… I like Souta-kun…”
Just as I thought, the one Kanae loved was our childhood friend, Souta.
And if my read on things was right, Souta didn’t dislike Kanae either.
That vague sense of urgency that they might end up together someday was exactly why I’d worked up the nerve to confess to Kanae today.
But the result was exactly what you see…
My heart felt rough and splintered, and ugly emotions overflowed inside me.
The sadness of being rejected, jealousy toward Souta, a pitiful sense of self-loathing, and unreasonable anger. There was no way I could show any of that in front of the girl I loved.
After quietly taking several deep breaths, I slowly raised my head.
“S-so, that’s why, I…”
In front of me was Kanae, her shoulders trembling as she looked down.
Because of the confession I’d selfishly made for my own reasons, it seemed like I’d made things extremely awkward for Kanae.
“Um, Kanae?”
My voice cracked a little, but thanks to that, it didn’t come out sounding dark or depressed.
“Y-yes…!”
Kanae answered stiffly.
I couldn’t see her expression since she was looking down, but the ear peeking out from between her smoothly flowing black hair was bright red, like it was about to steam.
She was probably embarrassed about saying out loud that she liked Souta. To me, the one who’d just been rejected, it was painfully dazzling and something I could only envy.
Even while carrying a heaviness that made me feel like my knees might give out, I forced myself to speak cheerfully.
“Ahaha. S-sorry about that. I kinda made things weird, didn’t I?”
Honestly, I didn’t even have the leeway to worry about Kanae right now. Still, that too was just my own selfishness. At the very least, I had to try to settle the atmosphere I’d messed up.
“Yeah, I get it… I understand your answer. Thanks for listening to me.”
Kanae stayed silent, still looking down, and I couldn’t read anything from her.
“W-well then… see you later…”
In the end, I couldn’t stand it anymore and ran away. Kanae didn’t say anything, and the atmosphere I’d broken was never fixed.
Ah, maybe I couldn’t stay by Kanae’s side anymore, not as a boyfriend, and not even as a childhood friend.
Faced with such a disastrous result, regret over confessing came rushing in almost immediately.
I held back the urge to sprint and left the spot at a brisk walk.
Desperate not to show anything more pathetic, I didn’t have the composure to look back or even worry about it, but it felt like Kanae stayed where she was.
Both Kanae and I still had some distance to go before reaching home, but there was no way my heart was strong enough to keep walking with her, and there was no way Kanae would want to stay with the guy she’d just rejected.
I kept moving my legs toward home, alone and empty-minded.
I didn’t even have the energy to look back and check anymore, and the footsteps on the way home were only mine. Well, of course they were. There was no way Kanae would follow me or chase after me.
“Man, that’s so pathetic…”
Even now, I hated myself for having the faint hope that maybe Kanae would come after me.
“I really did something awful to Kanae…”
It felt like she’d been trying really hard to be considerate.
From tomorrow on, how am I supposed to face Kanae…?