I Turned Him Down, But… (Kanae’s Perspective)
I’ve had two childhood friends by my side ever since kindergarten.
Souta-kun and Yukiya-kun.
Both of them have always been kind to me—my precious, irreplaceable childhood friends.
Souta-kun was always the “quiet but secretly amazing” type—great at both school and sports. And though he seemed plain at first glance, people often said he looked like an idol once you really saw his face.
Among the girls especially, he was quietly popular. By the time we reached middle school, some even asked me to introduce them to him, and I heard a few actually confessed.
Since I was his childhood friend, people often came to me with requests or asked for advice.
“Souta-kun’s actually really cute when you look closely.” “He’s kinda popular, huh?” “You’re his childhood friend, right, Kanae? Can’t you introduce me?” “I’m thinking of confessing to Souta-kun… what do you think, Kanae?”
The more I heard those kinds of things, the more I began to notice him. Stuff I’d never really paid attention to, being so close to him all the time, started standing out. Before I knew it, I was always watching him.
I casually mentioned it to a friend once, and she said, “So you’re into Souta-kun too, huh, Kanae?” I remember that moment clearly—that’s when I really started becoming aware of my feelings.
Realizing I was falling in love made my heart race. It was embarrassing, but also exciting, and somehow that alone made every day feel more fun.
The way he talked, the small thoughtful things he did—none of it had changed, but now they made me inexplicably happy. It felt like something special just for me. Being close to him because we were childhood friends started to seem like a kind of blessing.
“I’m in love with Souta-kun.”
That’s how I saw myself.
That’s how it was supposed to be—but then…
I found myself glaring at Yuki-kun’s back, a few dozen meters ahead, with a strange mix of frustration and regret.
Why did Yuki-kun have to go and confess to me…? To me… a confession—
I can’t help but replay the scene from earlier.
And just like that, my face flushes and something tightens deep in my chest.
“Ugh…”
It feels like something’s about to burst from inside me. I wrap my arms around my shoulders, trying to hold myself together, but I just end up trembling alone.
Hiding and secretly following Yuki-kun… shaking behind a corner like this—there’s no way this isn’t weird.
Honestly, after what just happened between me and Yuki-kun, I should’ve taken some space. Walked a different way home—anything. But instead, as I watched his back move farther away, I couldn’t help but follow.
I don’t even know why. My body just… moved on its own.
I thought I was in love with Souta-kun. That’s what I told Yuki-kun, too, when I gave him my answer…
But now, I’m starting to lose confidence in both my feelings and my actions.
And before I knew it, I’d already arrived in front of my house.
Yuki-kun’s house is a bit farther down, so of course, he was still walking.
“What should I do…?”
His retreating back stirred up something restless in me. I muttered the words without even realizing it.
I caught myself and, as if trying to shake everything off, dashed inside the house.
“Oh, welcome home~”
Right as I stepped through the entrance, I ran into my mom.
“Uwah… I-I’m home…”
My head was such a mess, I let out a weird little yelp without meaning to.
“What kind of reaction is that? Rude!”
“S-Sorry…”
Even I thought I sounded suspiciously meek. It was practically announcing that something had happened…
Sure enough, my mom narrowed her eyes at me, clearly suspicious.
I didn’t want her to see through me—but the more I tried not to think about Yuki-kun, the more he popped into my head.
M-My face is burning…
“Hmmm? Ohoho, I see what this is,” my mom said with a smirk.
She beamed at me, triumphant.
My throat seized up with a sharp gasp.
“I could pretend I didn’t notice, but this is too good to pass up! I’m calling it—boy trouble!”
“Wha—N-No! You’ve got it all wrong!”
Even my denial came out in broken, clumsy speech. I felt like crying.
“Let’s see now, who’s the lucky guy~?”
“Mooom! Seriously!”
I shouted at her, unable to stand her teasing anymore—especially since she didn’t know many boys, and in this case, she’d guess right way too fast!
I mean, it’s not like she knows that many guys to begin with, and this time, she’s gonna figure it out immediately!
Laughing, my mom waved her hand as if to say, “Okay, okay, I get it.”
I rushed past her and bolted up the stairs to my room, desperate to avoid getting teased any more than I already had.
“But you know—”
Her words, tossed casually at my back, struck deeper than I expected.
Bang!
I stepped into my room and shut the door behind me.
My face was still hot. My eyes stung a little, and my heart wouldn’t stop pounding.
And even in that state, the moment that surfaced in my mind was, once again, what happened with Yuki-kun on the way home.
Today was unusual. Souta-kun got called away by another girl, and Yuki-kun didn’t have club activities, so we ended up walking home—just the two of us.
And on that walk, Yuki-kun confessed his feelings to me…
His face had gone bright red, and even though he stumbled over his words, he still tried his hardest to tell me.
“P-Please… G-Go out with me!”
The moment I heard that, my heart pounded harder than it ever had before. It hurt.
“Even with Souta-kun, I’ve never felt this kind of rush…”
And when Yuki-kun bowed his head after his confession, I found myself almost reflexively trying to say—
“Ah, ye—…”
I was about to accept his confession without even thinking.
My voice cracked partway, so it never became a real reply… but still, why? I’m supposed to be in love with Souta-kun…
Am I just a shallow, fickle girl? The thought made me uneasy.
“Ugh… I-I need to stop thinking about Yuki-kun!”
But the more I tried not to, the more he invaded my thoughts. Or rather, even if I tried to think about nothing, he still kept coming back on his own.
“Ughhh, this is all Yuki-kun’s fault!”
My voice came out soft and needy—so sweet it shocked even me—and my face flared up all over again.
Maybe it’s only natural that I can’t stop thinking about him right now. After all, what happened today… a boy I care about—a dear childhood friend—told me he liked me. Even if I couldn’t respond properly, part of me was honestly happy.
And just as that thought settled in, I remembered something my mom had said.
“But with a face like that… you didn’t hate it, did you? You looked pretty thrilled to me~.”
“Ahhh…”
I let out a heavy breath, like I was trying to release the heat burning through me, and my gaze drifted toward the full-length mirror in the room.
Reflected back at me was a girl with flushed cheeks, watery eyes, and a completely lovesick, silly expression—me.