Chapter 4: Beware of Misunderstandings (Yukiya’s Point of View)
My first confession, my first heartbreak. That night, I couldn’t sleep after all.
Of course, there was the sadness of getting rejected, but more than that, the difficult problem of how I was supposed to interact with Kanae starting tomorrow kept gnawing at me until morning.
In the end, without coming to any kind of answer, I left the house at my usual early hour for morning practice.
As I walked down the early-morning route to school with both my school bag and my club bag slung over my shoulders, I could see Kanae’s house, which is near mine and along the way.
My eyes almost drifted toward the window of Kanae’s room, but I forced myself to look straight ahead and keep walking, putting on an act of calm.
After a while, I realized that my arms and legs were moving in sync on the same sides, and a deep sense of despair washed over me.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me… if I’m like this already, what am I supposed to do in the classroom…”
Unluckily for me, Kanae and Souta are in the same class as I am. Still, if there’s one saving grace, it’s that my seat is far away from theirs. Just imagining if I’d been seated between the two of them makes my blood run cold.
Up until now, I’d stuck close to Kanae and Souta during breaks just so I could talk to Kanae, but given what happened yesterday, that’d obviously be awkward. More than anything, I don’t want to make Kanae feel uncomfortable.
Well, I can go to the club room during lunch, and during the short breaks, I’ll either talk to whoever’s sitting near me or take refuge in the bathroom…
While I was putting together that incredibly pathetic schedule just to avoid getting close to Kanae, I arrived at school in no time at all.
How much am I even focusing on this stuff anyway…
Feeling thoroughly pathetic, I let my shoulders slump and headed for the club room.
“They’re definitely gonna ask me about the confession…”
Before confessing to Kanae, I’d casually asked some senior members of the soccer club I’m close with for advice. If I go to the club room at this time, I should run into those seniors.
Wondering what they’d say to me, I opened the club room door, and sure enough, the seniors were already there.
“Yo, Yukiya. How’d the confession go?”
“Did you get a girlfriend?”
They asked me right off the bat. Their tone was light, but they didn’t seem to be making fun of me.
“Uhh… it was a complete failure!”
There was no point in getting gloomy, so I reported it with unnecessary volume.
The seniors all gave wry smiles.
“Haha, seriously? Well, on to the next one, next.”
“Try hitting on girls from other schools during practice matches. With other schools, there’s that special feeling, you know.”
“I mean, you only got rejected once, right? Go for a rematch.”
“If we’re talking about that, it took me twenty confessions total since middle school before I started dating my current girlfriend.”
I received some words that were… questionable as encouragement.
I mean, twenty times is impressive. If I were on the receiving end of that many confessions, I’d probably think it was a joke. The girl who finally accepted him must be incredibly kind-hearted.
Anyway, Kanae has someone else she likes, and confessing over and over with a numbers-game mindset would just be a nuisance.
“Well, it’s awkward, so I’ll probably keep some distance for a while. I’m not gonna suddenly start liking someone else either.”
With that bland, noncommittal answer, the energy in the room settled down, and the topic shifted to club activities.
In the end, it was just a story about confessing and getting rejected. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing started.
Even so, just by reporting it to my seniors, I felt like my heart had gotten a little lighter.
After finishing our usual morning practice, I headed for my classroom.
With my school bag and club bag weighing on my shoulders, I wanted to put them down as soon as possible, so I hurried into the classroom.
Since a lot of people in our class tend to arrive right at the last minute, there were still only a few classmates inside.
“Ah…”
“Huh…?”
Because of that, there was no way to avoid our eyes meeting.
Why is Kanae…?
Kanae was sitting in her usual seat by the window.
It was clearly much earlier than when she normally arrives, and Souta, who usually comes with her, was nowhere to be seen.
Huh, did she come by herself? At this hour?
Both Kanae and I froze with our eyes wide open, and for a while, we just stared at each other from a distance.
Eventually, Kanae suddenly looked away, and I hurriedly put my things down and retreated from the classroom.
“Wait, seriously, why is she here this early? And she was clearly looking at me, right? What’s going on?”
Out in the hallway, I panicked in the most unseemly way.
In my head, embarrassing and lingering delusions started popping up, like, “Maybe Kanae came early because of me…” “If our eyes met, that means Kanae was looking at me too…” “Did she seem kind of embarrassed?” “Could it be that Kanae actually likes me too…”
“No, no. She rejected you yesterday, didn’t she…”
I scold myself as I head toward the sinks at the end of the hallway. I want to wash my face and cool down a bit.
After splashing water on my face a few times, I start to calm down a little.
I try to take a handkerchief out of my pocket to wipe my face, but with my eyes closed and my hands wet, it’s surprisingly hard.
“Um, here…”
Then, along with that hesitant murmur, a soft sensation lands in my searching hand.
“Ah, thanks.”
I take it reflexively and press it to my face, then freeze completely.
Huh, what is this? A towel? Why? And that voice just now…
This might sound kind of creepy, but I recognized the scent of the towel I was pressing against my face.
Nervously, I lower the towel.
“K-Kanae…?”
Sure enough, the one who’d handed me the towel was Kanae.
She was standing right in front of me, looking down.
I strongly resist the urge to smell the towel again and ask Kanae a question.
“Uh… th-thanks. But, why…?”
Even in my confusion, the sight of Kanae almost makes my cheeks loosen into a smile.
“Uh… I-I just happened to be passing by…?”
For some reason, Kanae says it like a question.
I mean, “passing by” at the very end of the hallway? That just raises more questions, but pressing her on it wouldn’t be a good idea.
“I-I see… Ah, thanks for the towel. I’ll wash it and give it back!”
“Ah, n-no. You can just leave it like that.”
Kanae says it in a soft voice, like she’s checking my reaction.
“Huh? No, but…”
“Um… I’m going to use it today too, so…”
So maybe she’d be troubled if I took it with me.
Accepting that, I thank her again and hand the towel back.
If only I could coolly say something like, “Please don’t act misleading like that,” but instead, Kanae’s kindness, consideration, and the nice scent of the towel are making me feel genuinely happy.
Damn it… my face won’t behave…
Overwhelming joy pulls my cheeks and the corners of my mouth upward on their own, and when I try to suppress it, my chin starts sticking out weirdly.
“W-Well then…”
Kanae turns around and leaves, still looking down.
Looks like I managed not to show her my weird face, at least.
Still, just from borrowing a towel for a moment, these overconfident, middle-school-level delusions like, “She actually likes me, doesn’t she?” or “Maybe I still have a chance,” just won’t stop.
“No. Kanae likes Souta. Don’t get the wrong idea…”
Feeling fed up with my own pointless optimism, I mutter that to myself as a warning.