The Blushing Goddess (Maria’s Side)
In the quiet room, Maria sat at her desk, lost in thought. She couldn’t shake off her earlier conversation with Subaru.
His clumsiness and strong determination to change himself made Maria smile involuntarily.
“But even though he’s trying so hard, Jinguji-san still…”
Her face instinctively twisted into a grimace. Remembering Kanon cheating on Subaru to go out with Reo spread a prickling sensation deep in her chest.
“That’s just wrong! Someone who cheats isn’t right for Subaru-kun. Because Subaru-kun is…”
A strong conviction took root in Maria’s heart. She hated seeing him hurt anymore. Whispering to herself, she reaffirmed that he had her by his side.
“That’s right. I’m the one who will make Subaru-kun happy!”
The moment she thought that, her face turned red. She clutched her smartphone and buried her face in her pillow.
“Wait, wait, what should I do?! If we’re dating, that means… dates, going home together every day, and then… and then…”
Her imagination ran wild. She pictured the two of them shopping together on weekends, chatting happily across a café table, holding hands at the movies, or sitting side by side on a park bench.
“Ahhh, what do I do, what do I do? Can I even handle that?!”
She thrashed around on the bed, moaning to herself.
“But if Subaru-kun said, ‘I like you,’ to me… that would be… that would be…!”
In that moment, Maria covered her face with both hands, burying her face in the pillow, her cheeks burning red. All she could hear was the sound of her heart pounding wildly in her ears.
“Can I… really do this? But no, if it’s for Subaru-kun, I’ll give it my all! I absolutely will!”
Though she made up her mind, her imagination ran wild again, leaving her wriggling around alone. This was a “secret moment” she couldn’t show anyone.
Maria had started developing special feelings for Subaru when she was in her first year of high school.
At school, everyone admired her from a distance, calling her Utsukushii (beautiful), Ojou-sama (young lady), or Chikayori gatai (hard to approach). She was used to being treated differently, but it wasn’t something she enjoyed.
Subaru, on the other hand, seemed entirely uninterested in Maria’s beauty or status. He treated her like anyone else—naturally and without pretense. For her, that was refreshing and special.
One particular memory stood out. After school one day, Maria dropped her notebook and textbooks. While everyone else just watched from a distance, Subaru stopped and silently picked them up for her.
“…Thank you.”
Maria surprised even herself by uttering those words. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Subaru, afraid of what he might say in return. But his simple “Don’t mention it” stirred something within her.
Until then, Maria had never fully trusted the attention she received from boys. Passing comments like “Can I have your number?” or casual approaches like “Let’s hang out sometime” always felt shallow, as if they weren’t seeing who she truly was.
But she didn’t sense any ulterior motives from Subaru. He simply handed her the notebook, smiled briefly, and looked at her as if she were just an ordinary girl.
“There’s no one else who treats me that way…”
For Maria, this was a first. It felt like someone had seen her, not as the idolized “Amane Maria,” but simply as herself.
From that day on, the name Subaru began to hold a special meaning for her.
She suddenly remembered the promise they made about “cosplay.”
“…There’s no way that’s normal.”
Picking up her smartphone, Maria replayed the scene in her mind. Earlier, while searching for cosplay online, her screen had been filled with high-exposure costumes now burned into her brain.
“…What… what even is this?”
The images on her screen showed flashy swimsuit-like outfits, dangerously short sailor uniforms, and bold bunny costumes—all far outside what Maria considered “normal.”
“…Me, wearing something like this?”
Maria’s eyes widened in disbelief, her face turning red. She quickly turned the phone face down, but the images wouldn’t leave her head.
“Does Subaru-kun like this kind of thing?”
Maria collapsed onto the bed and hid her phone under her pillow. But her thoughts wouldn’t stop racing.
She was reluctant to even wear a swimsuit at the pool. And a miniskirt like that would definitely be revealing in the wind. And a bunny? Why would a bunny costume be so revealing?
Maria sighed, overwhelmed by her spiraling thoughts.
She imagined Subaru’s reaction.
“How would Subaru-kun react if he saw something like this?”
She pictured him blushing and panicking.
…But what if he actually liked those kinds of things?
The moment she thought that, Maria’s cheeks flushed even more.
“Subaru-kun usually seems timid, but maybe he has a hidden side?”
Maria hugged a cushion, lost in thought. She realized she was imagining a side of Subaru that didn’t match his usual self and shook her head to clear her thoughts.
“No, that’s not right. That’s not Subaru-kun.”
She tried to convince herself, but the image of Subaru’s embarrassed face kept popping into her mind, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“I should support him.”
Maria lay on the bed, thinking back to her conversation with Subaru.
“Well, I did promise to reward him.”
She remembered the serious look on his face when he said, “I want to change.” It was a side of him she hadn’t seen before.
“Yes, I should support him.”
Maria murmured, her usual cool expression softening into a gentle smile. But at the same time—
“But I can be a little mean to him, right?”
With a mischievous smile, Maria couldn’t resist being drawn to Subaru’s pure and awkward nature.
“Subaru-kun, you have to change. Until then, no reward.”
Yet, the flashy costumes from her earlier search crept back into her thoughts—
…But what kind of costume would make Subaru-kun happy?
Realizing she was holding her phone again, Maria let out a small sigh.
“Seriously… Subaru-kun is making me think strange things.”
“But… I made a promise.”
Maria looked up, her eyes serious. She thought about Subaru’s words, “I want to change,” and realized how impactful they were.
“If he’s going to work hard, I should support him.”
Maria made up her mind. She started thinking about how she could concretely support Subaru’s efforts.
As night fell, Maria looked up at the starry sky from her window.
“Subaru-kun… show me you can change. And then…”
She kept the rest of her thoughts to herself and closed her eyes.
Special feelings for Subaru, the desire to support him, and just a little mischief—Maria’s heart swirled with conflicting emotions.
“Tomorrow is the start of the new semester.”
She wondered what they would talk about and what changes she would see in him. With a mix of anticipation and anxiety, Maria fell asleep.