Chapter 10: The Backlash (Yukiya’s Point of View)
Two days had passed since the confession of my life.
The aftermath of being utterly rejected hadn’t gone very well.
My new policy of “putting a bit of distance between Kanae and me” after getting turned down had somehow failed to launch, because Kanae herself kept closing that distance instead.
“I even ended up promising to eat lunch together today…”
Everything felt like a complete mess, to the point where I was disappointed in my own uselessness.
At this rate, I wouldn’t be able to shake the image of my confession equaling rejection, and it might even affect the revenge match I planned someday, my rematch confession.
“Well, before I even get a rematch, Kanae and Souta might end up getting together…”
A self-mocking laugh slipped out, and I felt like I wanted to die.
In my head, a hopeless image swirled of Kanae and Souta becoming a couple, and me congratulating them with a stiff, forced smile.
Maybe it was because I’d thought something noble like wanting Kanae’s love to come true yesterday. Now, at random moments, those kinds of images kept popping into my head.
Because of that, I’d been short on sleep again last night, and during morning practice earlier, I’d even gotten scolded by the female manager of all people.
“Hey, you. We managers get here earlier than the players to get everything ready. Take responsibility and do it properly.”
The memory of the female manager’s demon-like expression, like a sumo wrestler, came back to me.
Why was she so scary? Compared to my cute and gentle childhood friend Kanae, she was someone I wanted to force to drink Kanae’s nail clippings, both in looks and behavior.
And why did that manager scold the players directly every single time instead of leaving it to the coach? I had plenty of unreasonable complaints, but in the end, it was my fault for losing focus.
Dragging my heavy body and mind along, I headed for the classroom.
“Ah, Yuki-kun…”
Just as I finished climbing the stairs and reached the floor where my classroom was, someone suddenly called out to me. My shoulders jumped on reflex. There was only one girl at school who called me “Yuki-kun.”
“G-g-morning…”
The one who squeezed out that greeting was the girl who’d rejected me, the girl I loved, Kanae.
Kanae looked up at me with a stiff expression, and for some reason, she was clutching a towel in her hands held in front of her chest.
“G-morning?”
Caught off guard by Kanae’s unexpected appearance, I returned the greeting anyway.
I mean, just like yesterday, this was way too early for when Kanae usually arrived at school. Had she come alone again? And why was she standing by the stairs holding a towel in the first place?
“Uh, um… w-well then…”
My questions were endless, but for now, I chose the escape option, a strategic retreat.
As I passed by Kanae, deliberately avoiding eye contact, I heard her let out a small, wistful “ah,” and my heart started pounding despite myself.
Holding down my racing heart, I went into the classroom, reached my seat, and finally let out a breath, relaxing my shoulders.
It felt like I’d just fought a huge decisive battle first thing in the morning. I’d been more nervous than when I faced off one-on-one against an ace-level opponent in a soccer match.
“Was that a bit too obvious…?”
As I sat there tilting my head and reflecting on how I’d practically run away after barely saying hello, then…
“Um, Yuki-kun…”
Once again, a hesitant voice called out to me.
“Ugh, Kanae… wh-what is it?”
I could feel the corners of my mouth and eyes twitching as I forced what was probably a polite smile.
In contrast, Kanae looked troubled as she haltingly put her thoughts into words.
“Um, you know… aren’t you going to wash your face today…?”
At those words, my eyebrows drooped.
Huh, what was that? Some roundabout complaint about my cleanliness, or even my face itself? No, no, Kanae wouldn’t have such malicious intent.
And then I realized that, compared to yesterday, I’d become extremely negative about Kanae’s words and actions.
“Y-yeah, I guess I’ll go wash my face. See you…”
Whatever her real intention was, for me right now, it was perfect timing. I decided to go along with it.
Before Kanae could say anything else, I quickly stood up and left the classroom, heading straight for the sinks without looking back.
It might’ve been a bit forceful, but if I didn’t do this, there was no way I could put any distance between us. Up until now, I’d only ever been desperate to get closer to Kanae. I’d never even thought about doing the opposite.
“Might as well actually wash my face.”
My new post-rejection policy that wasn’t working, Kanae’s baffling attitude and sense of distance, the constant lack of sleep, and my negative fantasies. Too many problems were piling up, and I wanted to cool my head, even just a little.
I splashed my face with water a few times, and just as I was about to pull out my handkerchief to wipe my wet face, I suddenly realized something.
Come to think of it, hadn’t there been a similar situation just like this yesterday?
“Y-Yuki-kun…”
At that third call, I turned toward her with my face still wet.
There stood Kanae, holding out a towel.
“Here… if you want, you can use it…”
As she said that and offered me the towel, Kanae’s hand was trembling slightly, and it looked so earnest and pitiful it almost hurt.
I hesitated violently.
What should I do? Should I refuse? No, if I went that far, it’d be less about keeping distance and more about just being unpleasant. And what was Kanae thinking anyway?
“U-um, th-the towel…”
With me staying silent for so long, Kanae’s words finally began to waver helplessly.
Panicking at that, I found myself blurting things out as if I were cornered.
“Ah, no, I mean, I feel bad. I already borrowed one yesterday, and I’ve got a handkerchief. And besides, it’d be bad if Souta misunderstood something.”
That last unnecessary line came entirely from my own inferiority.
“Eh… Souta-kun…?”
Kanae stared at me in shock, her eyes wide open.
I couldn’t bear to look at her and answered while slightly turning my face away.
“Ah, well, you know. The other day after school, you said you liked Souta, right? So I thought if you were too kind to me just because I’m your childhood friend, Souta might get the wrong idea. And I wouldn’t want something like that to make things awkward between you and Souta.”
Excuse after excuse spilled out of my mouth, sounding more convincing than they had any right to.
“I’m rooting for you, Kanae…”
I hadn’t meant to go that far. It was basically saying I was stepping aside, and yet the words came out before I could stop them.
Ah, I’m seriously done for…
I’d thought about things like not wanting Kanae to worry, or wanting her love to come true, like I was some big-hearted guy. But in the end, all I did was let my negative imagination make me pathetic, push away kindness from the girl I loved, and realize how small I really was.
In front of me, Kanae hung her head, trembling. Whether she was angry or sad, either way, right now, I seriously wanted to disappear.
And just as I was being crushed by a sense of despair even worse than when I’d been rejected…
“Th-then, I’ll t-take responsibility and wipe it for you… okay!”
Suddenly, Kanae snapped her lowered face up and rattled that off in a trembling voice, then pressed the towel she was holding against my face and started scrubbing hard.
“Mmph, splsh…?”
She scrubbed my face with far more force than I’d expected, so I couldn’t even respond properly. Even so, I didn’t try to shake her off and just accepted it.
And when Kanae’s somewhat desperate service had heated the skin of my face enough, the towel was finally pulled away.
Facing me, Kanae looked sad, with bead-like drops even gathering at the corners of her eyes.
“Y-your cheeks are red… it hurt, didn’t it? I’m sorry…”
She whispered so faintly it almost vanished, and Kanae’s small hand gently touched my cheek.
Shocked by that overwhelming act, my tension hit its absolute peak, and I lost the ability to speak, managing only some pathetic gasps.
Kanae turned her back on me in that inhuman state and walked away, leaving behind some meaningful words as she went.
“I-I’ll take responsibility…!”
To me, Kanae’s words carried an absolute power that bound even my thoughts.
Ah, seriously… my dizzying fantasies won’t stop.