The Impact of the Confession (Kanae’s Perspective)
I barely slept the night he confessed to me.
No, that’s not quite right. I must have slept, technically—but it felt like I was dreaming nonstop. Instead of waking rested, I felt even more drained.
When I cracked my eyes open, the room was still wrapped in early morning gloom, and the alarm clock by my bed showed an unreasonably early hour.
Lying there on my back, still groggy, I tried to gather the fragments of the dreams I’d just drifted through.
They were a jumbled montage—memories from my life stitched together with vivid scenes from dramas and movies I’d seen, like a messy scrapbook. But one thing tied them all together: in every dream, at the center of it all, it was always me and Yuki-kun.
Like the one where, in a classroom at dusk, middle school Yuki-kun held me close and whispered,
“Kanae, I’ve always liked you.”
Then the scene shifted to our elementary school gym, where high school me and Yuki-kun were holding hands during a school assembly.
Just as suddenly, I was being chased through the city by zombies, only for the current Yuki-kun to come charging in, fearless, to save me.
And then, there we were again—me curled against Yuki-kun on the couch in my living room, shoulder to shoulder as we watched TV together…
Most dreams fade over time, their edges blurring into forgetfulness. But the vivid ones burn deeper, etched like sunlight behind closed eyes.
Especially that last one—us, so close. Like a couple. Like we were already married. That image… I don’t think I’ll ever forget.
“Ugh… This is all Yuki-kun’s fault…”
My face burned again. My chest fluttered with a ticklish ache, and I writhed on the bed, overwhelmed by the sheer embarrassment of it all.
As shocking as Yuki-kun’s confession was, I never expected it would haunt me this deeply—even in my dreams.
If this keeps up, there’s no way I’ll be able to act normal when I see him at school today.
“Maybe I should just get up already…”
It’s not like I can sleep anymore anyway. I might as well start getting ready for school. It’s early, but my mom’s probably up making breakfast and seeing my dad off.
With that thought, I climbed out of bed, left my room, and made my way downstairs. Sure enough, my mom was already in the kitchen.
“Oh my, you’re up early.”
“Yeah… couldn’t really sleep.”
“That’s rare. But if you’d joined a club, you’d probably be waking up around this time every day for morning practice, wouldn’t you?”
I knew she was teasing me for all the times I’ve overslept—and yeah, I felt a little sheepish.
But her words reminded me of something else entirely, and my thoughts drifted.
Morning practice… Yuki-kun’s in the soccer club, and he said they have morning practice almost every day. He must already be up and out around this time, right?
“…Maybe I should just go to school now.”
“Huh? What’s gotten into you? You seriously have morning practice or something?”
“Eh? No, not really… I mean, I’m going anyway, so I figured—why not, just this once?”
“Uh-huh… Well, breakfast is ready, so I guess that’s fine…”
My mom looked genuinely confused as she said that.
Ugh… Okay, sure, I normally sleep until the last possible minute, and yeah, I get why this might seem weird. But still, her reaction felt a little harsh.
But I’m going anyway.
I got ready and left the house earlier than usual.
Walking the usual path to school—the same one I took home yesterday—brought all the memories from the day before rushing back, and I couldn’t calm down.
“I wonder if Yuki-kun already passed through here…”
We live in the same neighborhood and go to the same school, so of course our route is the same. Maybe I’ll bump into him—if I’m lucky. With that hope, I glanced around, scanning for any sign of Yuki-kun.
“Maybe… he’s already gone ahead?”
Not seeing him—was that disappointing? Or a relief? I wasn’t sure.
But I’ll definitely see him once I’m in class. What am I even supposed to say when that happens?
He worked up the courage to confess, and I turned him down. Pretending nothing happened feels wrong, but avoiding him feels even worse.
“What does Yuki-kun want me to do…?”
I don’t want him to feel hurt, if I can help it. But unless I ask him directly, I’ll never know.
What should I do? What can I do…?
Lost in my thoughts, I looked up and realized I was already standing in front of the school.
Wow… I must’ve been totally spaced out.
Feeling a mix of shame and anxiety, I hurried toward the entrance.
On the way, I caught sight of the soccer team out on the field—Yuki-kun’s team, already deep into morning practice.
I wonder if I can see him from here?
I glanced sideways, scanning the field. No good. Too far to make anyone out clearly.
Still, for the first time in a while, I really wanted to watch him play soccer again. I picked up my pace, heading for the floor where my classroom was.
As I reached the top of the stairs, I noticed the sink area at the end of the hall—and with my palms sweaty from nerves, I figured I might as well wash my hands first.
I stood at the sink, pulled out my hand towel, clamped it in my mouth, and rubbed my hands together under the water.
When I stepped into the classroom, drying my hands on the towel, I was surprised to see how empty it was. Including me, only five people had shown up.
I didn’t know any of them very well, but I nervously muttered a soft “Morning…” and one of the nearby boys gave me a small nod.
I set my bag down at my seat and gazed out the window toward the schoolyard.
“Yuki-kun… Ah—there he is.”
I spotted him near the goal. The players were lined up, taking shots one by one. I saw Yuki-kun kick—then score. That drill—they used to do that in middle school too.
Then, a thought struck me.
Ever since I started getting curious about Souta-kun, I kind of stopped watching Yuki-kun play soccer. But before that, I used to watch him all the time.
Back when we were really little, watching Yuki-kun kick a soccer ball made my heart race. I remember squealing, thinking how cool he was. Remembering it now made me cringe a little.
Could it be that Yuki-kun kept playing soccer because I told him he was cool…? The thought made me wince. How conceited can I be?
After all, I turned him down—after he’d gone out of his way to confess. Thinking something like that now… it’s just wrong.
My mood darkened, and I lowered my head. When I finally looked up again, the field had emptied without me even noticing.
“Huh…?”
Morning practice is over? Wait—what time is it? Does that mean Yuki-kun’s on his way here right now!?
I glanced at the clock. Way more time had passed than I’d realized.
Panic fluttered in my chest as I flailed helplessly. Instinctively, I turned toward the classroom entrance—and in that exact moment—
“Ah…”
“Wha—?”
Yuki-kun walked in, and our eyes met—so clearly, so directly, there was no room for either of us to pretend otherwise.
My mind went blank. We stared for a moment. Then I quickly turned my face away.
M-My face is burning… It’s gotta be bright red right now… He totally noticed, didn’t he…?
I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. He had turned his back—and was walking out of the classroom.
Wh—Where’s he going…? Did he leave because we made eye contact…?
A chill ran down my spine. My chest twisted painfully, like it had been yanked upward.
I fidgeted in my seat, too restless to stay put. Where did Yuki-kun go…? Chasing after him would be weird, right? But if I pretend I’m going to the bathroom or the sink…
I’m not following Yuki-kun. I just happen to be heading down the hallway.
That excuse settled in my mind like a cover story, and with my hand towel in tow, I slipped out of the classroom after him.
Just like yesterday—after his confession—chasing the back of Yuki-kun’s figure as he walked away from me.