Chapter 9: Self-Sacrifice (Souta’s Point of View)
The morning route to school.
That day, for once, I was heading to school alone.
Normally, in a situation like this, I’d be delighted to enjoy some peaceful alone time without being clung to by three beautiful girls, leisurely reading a light novel as I walked. But I wasn’t in that kind of mood right now.
“How did it end up like this…!”
What came back to me was yesterday after school.
I’d been called up to the school rooftop by a senior and a junior.
There were no other students on the rooftop. The only sounds were the faint echoes of sports clubs practicing down on the field, which made the place feel strangely quiet.
In front of me were Azaka-senpai and my junior, Rinka. Standing with me as an escort was my stepsister, Chris.
Normally, this would absolutely be a situation where my childhood friend Kanae should’ve been here too, but she wasn’t.
Right before coming here, I’d tried talking to Kanae in the classroom.
“Like I said at lunch, I’ve been called by Rinka and Azaka-senpai today… do you want to come too?”
“No, I wasn’t called, so I’ll go home.”
“Huh? Ah, no, but…”
Kanae, wearing an unusually serious expression, quickly left.
Even I felt dissatisfied with Kanae’s attitude, but at the same time, I could guess the reason for her coldness.
Maybe Kanae got sulky because I’d agreed to meet other girls, even if they were part of our group.
No, don’t dismiss it as me being full of myself. Sure, I’m an introverted loner by anyone’s standards, but Kanae’s been by my side since elementary school, through middle school, and now high school. I can at least understand what that means.
I might be an introverted loner, but I’m not some dense protagonist.
“Kanae’s feelings toward me”… well, unless Kanae tells me directly, I don’t plan on reading too much into it.
“Whew, so this really means it’s time for me to finally pay my dues, huh. Good grief…”
Faced with such an endearing childhood friend, even I couldn’t help letting out a wry smile.
Seriously, what a troublesome childhood friend.
I let out a small sigh, switched gears, and focused on the two girls in front of me.
Azaka-senpai and my junior Rinka stood side by side before me with solemn expressions, while Chris, acting as my escort, watched us from a little distance away.
Ah… I know this arrangement and this atmosphere all too well. Back in elementary school and middle school, every girl who formally called me out looked exactly the same.
And just as I expected, following the storyline and lines I’d anticipated, Rinka spoke first.
“I-I! When I’d just enrolled, I got harassed by some scary people… and I ended up passing out in the end, but later I heard that Senpai saved me… a-and from that moment! I’ve loved you so much, Senpai!”
Once Rinka finished, it was Azaka-senpai’s turn.
“At first, I learned about you through my junior, and when I actually scouted you here, I think that was when I fell in love with you, Souta-kun. And from here on out, I want to keep loving you, if possible, right by your side. I like you, Souta-kun.”
Hearing that, I naturally fell silent. That was because, in order to avoid hurting anyone, I couldn’t give an answer. If I did, what would happen to the one not chosen? What would happen to our relationships until now? And what would Kanae, who wasn’t even here, think?
Precisely because I’m an introverted loner, I understand how difficult human relationships are and how important companions are.
That’s exactly why I felt this so strongly.
Any answer or ending that might hurt someone has to be wrong. Absolutely wrong.
As I shouted that in my heart, my skin prickled all over and a shiver ran through me. My heart raced, and my chest burned hot.
Haha… this kind of passion really doesn’t suit my character.
“I understand how you both feel. I want some time to think this through properly!”
I declared that loudly.
And that was what happened yesterday after school.
“How did it end up like this…”
No matter how much I think about it, no solution comes to mind.
Yesterday after school, when I accepted Azaka-senpai’s and Rinka’s confessions and, in my heart, strongly rejected any ending where someone would be unhappy, at that moment when my chest burned hot, I felt like I could do anything. I probably really was in that kind of state.
But now, my own calmness and ability to think things through have turned against me, making me overthink everything even more.
To make sure no one gets hurt, it’d be best to maintain the same not-too-close, not-too-distant group relationship we’ve had, where we don’t cling to each other or rely too much.
Sure, as an introverted loner, I’d rather not be surrounded by three girls and drawing attention. And it’s not even just that. From here on out, Kanae will be joining in too, which means four girls around me and my burden doubling.
But since I can’t bring myself to hurt them, rejecting them outright is difficult. I want to be firm too. But precisely for their sake, this is something I have to endure.
“Man… self-sacrifice really isn’t my style…”
And at this point, the one best suited to smooth things over and settle the situation isn’t Yukiya, but Kanae, who’s also a girl.
Even in this situation, I calmly turned my thoughts over and reached that conclusion.
“…and yet, it looks like Kanae went to school on her own again today.”
At least she did send me a message, following my instructions.
[I’m heading to school first again today.]
She’d even casually added a little rabbit emoji at the end.
With things in our group being such a mess, even I felt irritated.
No, Kanae doesn’t know what’s going on. There’s no point scolding her. I need to tell her about the situation and instruct her on what to do.
I calmed myself and came to that conclusion.
But despite that, my plan to have Kanae settle things would be blocked by an obstacle I never could’ve predicted.