Chapter 13: Pushy, Pushy? (Yukiya’s Point of View)
Is this what confession and heartbreak are like? Lately, my mood’s been constantly swinging up and down without a moment’s rest.
On top of that, the mysterious words and actions of my childhood friend Kanae, the very one who rejected me, just keep confusing me nonstop.
Even this morning, when I followed Kanae’s suggestion and went to wash my face, she lent me a towel like yesterday, complete with Kanae’s scent. In the end, she even wiped my face herself, like it was some kind of full service.
And then there was what she said as she was leaving. “I’ll take responsibility…” It was way too loaded, and now I’ve been stuck thinking about Kanae since first thing in the morning.
At this point, my head’s completely filled with Kanae. A Kanae-only festival, with Kanae marching around everywhere inside my brain.
I’ve even started hearing hallucinations of Kanae calling “Yuki-kun~” right next to my ear, and it really feels like I’m in the terminal stage now.
Even though I got rejected, I’m falling into a hellish state of severe Kanae addiction and dependency. And just as that was happening, a savior appeared to rescue me.
“Well, it looks like Kanae’s got someone she’s interested in, so I don’t think there’s any ulterior motive.”
Kanae’s crush. Souta.
Coming from Souta, that line carried overwhelming persuasive power given his position. At the same time, it had the destructive force to completely shatter my foolish, groundless optimism into pieces.
“Yeah… you’re right…”
As I muttered that in a breathless voice, there was probably a smile full of defeat on my face.
Seriously, what was I getting so worked up over all by myself? The sheer lack of self-awareness is embarrassing. Kanae has someone she cares about, Souta, after all.
Pouring cold water over myself with those thoughts, I finally calmed down and entered the classroom with Souta just barely on time.
And then, once again, my eyes met Kanae’s from her seat far away.
If this had been my mood just a little while ago, I probably would’ve gotten carried away again with pointless positivity.
So I immediately looked away and, trying to cover it up, started talking to the person sitting next to me.
“Hey, is it our row’s turn for the English translation today?”
“Huh, uh, I’m not sure. I don’t think so today, but you might get picked individually, Yukiya-kun.”
She said that with a mischievous smile.
“Wait, what, Yukiya’s getting called on in English today?”
“Ahh, you know, that English teacher totally likes Yuki, don’t they?”
The guy diagonally in front of me and the girl in the seat ahead joined in too.
Even while chatting about nothing in particular, I couldn’t stop worrying about Kanae. From years of habit, my body and gaze naturally tried to follow her.
Of course, I forced myself to hold back. I kept telling myself that Kanae has Souta, distracted myself by talking with friends, and tried every possible way to suppress both my desire and my ingrained habits toward her.
Ah, come to think of it, when I first decided on the new policy of putting a bit of distance between Kanae and me, I’d thought up all sorts of plans. Going to the bathroom during breaks, chatting with friends, or spending lunch break in the clubroom.
Looking at it that way, isn’t this situation oddly playing out exactly the way I’d planned?
I don’t know if it’s a good method, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try following the plan for now.
I mean, if I end up in the same mood as this morning again, I feel like I’d confess to Kanae every single second. I once heard about a senior from the soccer club who confessed to the same girl twenty times, and now I really get how he felt.
That’s exactly why, to keep myself from going out of control, for my own revenge, and for the sake of Kanae’s love coming true, taking some distance and calming down for now can’t possibly be a bad thing.
It’s not like I plan to treat Kanae coldly. I’d just be going back to how things were before I confessed. And even if something happens on Kanae’s side, it’s frustrating to admit it, but Souta would probably handle it well. So there’s no problem at all.
…Or so I thought, but I was definitely an idiot for thinking that so easily.
“Yuki-kun!”
The moment the first break started, Kanae raised her voice so loudly it echoed through the entire classroom and ran straight over to me.
Yeah, the possibility that I wouldn’t even be allowed to keep my distance in the first place.
Even though nothing had really started yet, I had a bad feeling right from the beginning that my plan was already falling apart.
I was getting tons of attention from everyone around us. The person next to me was grinning and poking me with her elbow, the guy diagonally in front of me was flipping me off, and the girl in the seat ahead of me silently pointed her phone’s camera this way.
“Yuki-kun… um, can we talk for a bit?”
As she said that, Kanae tugged on my sleeve and led me to a stair landing with fewer people around.
Saying, “Yuki-kun, over here,” Kanae pushed me into a corner by the wall, then opened her mouth with a slightly formal air.
“Um… I’m sorry about this morning. Is your cheek okay?”
Kanae’s hand reached out and gently brushed my cheek. The ticklish sensation sent a shiver up my spine, my face grew hot, and her soft whispering voice made my brain feel like it was melting.
Even the calm, steel-like mental discipline that Souta had hammered back into me felt like it was being easily melted down into sludge with just a few deft moves from Kanae.
This is bad. Kanae’s way too strong.
At this point, for me to put any distance between us, I might have no choice but to carefully explain my reasons directly to Kanae herself and then beg her with a full-on prostration.
But Kanae, having no idea what was going on in my head, kept brushing my cheek and whispered softly.
“Wow, it’s all red…”
My cheek being red was for a completely different reason, but I don’t have the mental room to explain that right now.
All I can do is stare at the Kanae right in front of me, my whole body stiff with tension and excitement, my temperature rising so much it feels like I might start steaming.
“Ah, right.”
Kanae, apparently thinking of something, spoke up with the excited voice of a little kid.
“Yuki-kun, can you bend down a bit?”
Tilting her head slightly, Kanae asked that, and I bent down just like she said.
Then Kanae’s small hands gently cupped my face.
“Fuu, fuu…”
For some reason, Kanae started blowing softly on my cheek, like she was cooling down hot tea.
Kanae’s breath brushed against my cheek. The warm, soft sensation was ticklish, or rather, wait a second, this is seriously going to make my nose bleed.
In my hazy head, I felt a sharp twinge deep inside my nose.
Wh-what about Kanae…?
When I stole a look at the childhood friend who’d suddenly committed such a violent act, Kanae had her eyes squeezed tightly shut, her face bright red, her whole body trembling as she desperately kept blowing.
Until just now, Kanae had looked completely calm to me, but it seems she was embarrassed after all. That somehow made me feel a little relieved.
Normally, I should be questioning the real intent behind Kanae’s bold service at this point, but unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of mental strength left anymore.
I was completely overwhelmed by Kanae’s cuteness and allure, my head spinning. After the extreme tension and excitement piling up one after another, my whole body was already totally wiped out.
And on top of that, the warning bell for the next class started ringing.
“Fuu, fuu… huh? Ehehe, let’s go back to the classroom.”
Kanae seemed to come back to her senses and smiled shyly, her face bright red.
“Oh, right, Yuki-kun.”
This time, Kanae continued with a playful smile.
“We’re going to eat lunch together today, just like we promised, okay?”
Looking cheerful, Kanae started walking ahead as if to lead the way.
“Fuhah…”
I quietly let out a deep sigh, like I was releasing all the heat that had built up inside me.
It honestly feels like my heart just took a finishing blow.
I mean, this is what happened when I tried to put a little distance between me and Kanae. I got hit with a fierce counterattack, and all that happened was that I was forcefully shown sides of Kanae and charms I’d never known before. I don’t feel like I can put any distance between us at all anymore.
The only path left might seriously be getting down on my knees and begging.
As I looked at Kanae’s back while she walked ahead, I felt a small shiver run through me.
Lunch break is kind of scary.