Hinata Arisa’s and Shimizu Yume’s Perspectives
I threw myself onto the bed, unable to do anything, and sank into it.
I know I have to go to school. But right now, even if I went, I wouldn’t be able to focus in class.
Yuuki’s words keep replaying in my head like a curse, and unease twists inside me.
“When you were being bullied, I protected you. And yet you abandoned me. Do you want me to explain exactly how it happened?”
Those words will not leave my mind.
My past.
The sin I committed.
Until now, Yuuki had been pretending not to notice the crime I committed back then. He treated it as if it had never happened.
I was the one who took advantage of that.
Because Yuuki was kind to me, I also pretended not to see it and acted as if nothing had happened when I was with him.
I should never have been allowed to get away with that.
As the perpetrator, I absolutely should not have looked away, but I did.
I always carried the unease of whether this was really okay, but I could not bring myself to say anything. I knew I had to face who I had been.
But I was afraid.
From Yuuki’s perspective it might be utterly disgusting, but I liked Yuuki, the one who saved me and spent time with me.
People would probably say, what are you talking about when you betrayed him first.
That is why I did not want to destroy the gentle world where Yuuki indulged me by revealing the ugly truth of my betrayal.
But still. It cannot be helped.
It is all my fault. I always pretend not to see, and then try to take only the sweet parts. I act as if I do not know the bad things.
I felt so ashamed of myself that I cried.
Remembering my ugly actions from the past, I cried even harder.
I cried, sobbed out loud, lamented, and my heart ached at the helplessness of it all until my face was a mess.
But eventually my tears dried up, and I had to face reality.
Before I knew it, the room had gone dark and the sun had set.
Dim moonlight shone on me.
That’s right, why did Yuuki… stop pretending not to see.
Why did he stop being kind?
There must be a reason.
If I remove that reason, maybe our relationship could return to how it was.
And if I settle my past, maybe.
“Hey, Shimizu-san. There’s a mixer tonight, come with us. I don’t really know you yet, Shimizu-san, so I want to get to know you.”
“Ah, I’m not interested, so I’ll pass.”
Who is this again?
…Ah, right.
The annoying guy who happened to sit next to me once and has been pestering me ever since.
“But Shimizu-san, if you come it’ll definitely be lively. Just for a little while.”
“I won’t go because it won’t be fun for me.”
I don’t care if you all get excited or whatever, but I don’t enjoy being with you. It is not interesting, it is only unpleasant.
Anyway, the friends of someone like you are probably the same kind of people.
The old saying about birds of a feather really was clever.
“Please, just for a little.”
“Annoying, gross, persistent. People who are a pain get disliked. Also, I hate you. That’s why you’ll stay a virgin forever, isn’t it?”
He was getting far too persistent, so everything I had been thinking just spilled out.
I don’t even know if he is really a virgin, but the words slipped out.
But when he heard me, his face turned bright red and he got angry, so I must have struck a nerve.
“Shut up. Huh? I’m not a virgin. Shut up, bitch. I’ll never ask you again.”
“Thanks, appreciate it. Bye then. Don’t ever show me your ugly face again.”
After throwing that parting shot and walking off somewhere, he even waved, and then I looked down at my phone.
Still, what a bitch.
I have never done anything like that even once.
He probably got mad at being called a virgin and snapped back, but calling me a bitch was outrageous.
I only have eyes for Yuuki-kun.
If some rumor ever reached Yuuki-kun that I was a bitch, I might actually kill him.
Well, whatever. Thinking about him is a waste of time.
Today is Yuuki-kun’s shift, so I need to go back.
Since he just broke up, this is the perfect chance.
His heart is broken and he has become wary of all girls, but that is fine.
I never betrayed him, so I am in a far better position than the other girls.
Besides, if I am the only one he acknowledges, the other girls will fade from his sight.
I belong to Yuuki-kun, and Yuuki-kun only looks at me.
“I should head home soon.”
I left the university and started walking home.